ｈｏｂｏｌｉｆｅ（ｍａｓｔｅｒｒａｃｅ）

Mon, 19 May 2014 23:44:10 GMT

temples is moving to lenity! Add me if you wanna.

I... I am almost 90% sure I've become a hipster. :|a

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And now for something completely different: POSITIVITY.

Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:28:43 GMT

So, Game of Thrones is gross and How I Met Your Mother is also gross! Two for you, TV. Really. Good job. How about we talk about something that isn't gross?

( So let's talk about Orphan Black. )

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I'm going to be grossly vague...

Mon, 21 Apr 2014 16:01:25 GMT

...but herding cats is a miserable fucking experience and I am sick of it.

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This is just the same as the last few entries, tbh

Thu, 03 Apr 2014 23:08:35 GMT

( Dear Self, )

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Wed, 26 Mar 2014 14:54:58 GMT

Finished up one of my classes on Monday, so I only have four to go. Two essays left to do, only three exams to write -- I'd like to say that things will be quieting down from here on out, but I doubt it. Trying to coordinate approved classes for my exchange when I have two academic advisors on each side of my double major is a headache in itself, and my feet are cold for no reason and my head hurts and I'm dizzy and I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. It is not fun to be me right now.

I take it back. I'm ready to leave now. I want to be in Glasgow. I want a full year of less restrictive academic requirements, with more time to relax so I'm not running myself into the ground. My average won't be affected by the grades I get next year, as long as I pass all of my classes; all that comes back is a pass/fail. I'm ready to slack off. No volunteer work, no all-nighters, no intense rushing to get everything in on time. I just want to pass everything, hang out with my friends, and maybe dart around the UK/the general Europe area.

Find out tomorrow if one of the initiatives I've been working on passes the referendum. I'm not looking forward to that, considering there was active campaigning against it over the last few days. The thought of all that hard work going down the drain is upsetting. :\

Ughhh, tired tired tired. Seriously, April, hurry up and get here.

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Random blabbing... again!

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 01:11:58 GMT

After pulling an all nighter last night, I am pretty exhausted, both physically and mentally.

( More miserable whining and complaining )

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/throws e-mail and facebook and phone into the abyss

Mon, 17 Mar 2014 19:47:17 GMT

Twice today, I've gotten e-mails that have made me stop what I'm doing and just gape in horror, because what are you doing, this is another time-sensitive task I have to complete, what are you doing, stop, when do you expect me to sleep.

I am so stressed and worn out. :(

HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY.

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Hi, Life. Turn around and walk away

Thu, 13 Mar 2014 00:04:14 GMT

This is just some pointless rambling on the state of my life.

( Read more... )

GOD I AM SUCH A MISERABLE COMPLAINER, I'm sorry everyone who read this

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I am a crickety old lady, creak creak SPLAT

Tue, 04 Mar 2014 01:45:54 GMT

I have very little energy to say anything but, somehow, I don't have time to be tired. That is the only thing that has kept me staving off a complete mental breakdown since January -- knowing that I don't have time for one.

There isn't a day that goes by where something in my e-mail doesn't make me want to burst into tears, or at least consider bursting into tears, but then I just... remember I have shit to do and go do it. As a coping mechanism, I have no idea how healthy it is. I'm just very, very worn out and I'm tired of people making demands on me, even if I don't necessarily blame them for the fact of the demands. I just need a break.

When did an eight hour day become synonymous with a day off? Like, "oh, start as late as nine, done as early as five... IS IT CHRISTMAS? :D"

No, Jes.

It's not bloody Christmas.

April 1st. That's the goal. I can make it until then.

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I stole this from Val, who stole this from someone else

Fri, 21 Feb 2014 20:36:59 GMT

THINGS TO INGEST, ABSORB, FEED ON AND OTHERWISE ENJOY IN 2014.

TV Shows
- Hannibal
- Orphan Black

Books
- Red Dragon
- Raising Steam
- Lord of the Rings trilogy
- The Hobbit
- ASoIaF, beginning with book one again.
- Sunshine (reread; in progress)

Manga/anime
- ~~Shingeki no Kyojin~~ (manga only)
- Bleach (manga only)
- DOGS: Bullets and Carnage
- ~~Another~~ (anime only)

Video games
- Fire Emblem Awakening (replay, in progress)
- Tales of Symphonia (in progress)
- ~~Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice~~
- Dragon Age: Inquisition
- ~~FFX~~/FFX-2 (on Vita)
- Hakuoki

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This just in: still alive

Fri, 21 Feb 2014 20:25:05 GMT

WHEN DID FEBRUARY HAPPEN.

When did 2014 happen.

I've been sick for the past five weeks, on and off, and today I got an inhaler. I have affectionately named it Ron Swanson, because it kind of looks like a mustache.

Does this pass as a reasonable entry yet?

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Sat, 14 Dec 2013 20:53:19 GMT

My cranky phase has gone into full swing, where I am so completely out of patience for anyone else. I've been avoiding plurk and AIM for this exact reason, although I knew when I started my "I Want" experiment (which I'll talk about later, when I don't hate everything) that I'm going to be cutting down my plurk time anyway. There's no real point to this entry but if I snap at you, or ignore you, or am just caustic and ungrateful at you -- please don't think it's an accurate reflection of my general feelings or assume I hate you. None of those things are true in most cases. I'm just in a foul mood and want to be left alone. I'll re-surface when I'm feeling fit for human company again but not before.

( And now, a NSFW (language) gif that's basically me )

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I want, like a Disney princess

Fri, 13 Dec 2013 13:46:47 GMT

I want to read books more, and talk to people about books. I read the whole Hunger Games trilogy this summer and even though I was bursting with thoughts about it, those thoughts never went anywhere. Yes, not liking Mockingjay is probably universal, but was I the only one disappointed with most of Catching Fire as well? The movie was better than the book, in my opinion. I want to finish Discworld, see what Neil Gaiman and Robin McKinley and Janet Fitch and Elizabeth Kostova are up to, check out Jacqueline Carey's new series, get further than A Feast for Crows in ASoIaF, check out the Vorkosigan Saga since Sev referenced it, years and years ago, in a fic she wrote for me. I want to finally read Diana Wynne Jones and Jasper Fforde. I want to read the comics Yuul and Val keep recommending.

I want to go for walks. I want to start swimming again. I haven't been swimming in years and I miss it. I know I'm out of shape, partly due to endo limiting what I can do, but I keep being recommended exercise and I keep not taking the initiative. The gym at school is free now. I should take advantage of that. I want to be at least a little healthier.

I want to cook actual meals more, rather than defaulting to whatever is closest at hand.

I want to spend more time with my family, especially the cousins I rarely get to see. I have over twenty cousins, and a lot of them are in my age bracket, but because of distance and schedules, I don't get to see them very much. My closest cousin (in affection, not in distance) has a two year old daughter that I still haven't met. I want to do more things with the cousins who do live close, because they just lost their mother this past summer and need their family right now.

I want to do better in school. I do well for the most part, As and Bs, but I failed an assignment that was worth 20% of my grade in the course and got a 68 on a different assignment. I'm used to overachieving -- I had a 4.0 at my last school -- but I've become lazy, and I want to fix that. I want to have an academic record I can be proud of, especially if I am considering taking the LSATs.

I want to talk to people more one-on-one. I'm really happier doing that than the alternative. I want to make more time for my RL friends; [Friend] has been back in Canada for months now and I've still not seen her. I want to catch up with the people I went to Sheridan with. I want to make more friends at my current school.

I want to do more volunteer work. I got my sexual violence crisis counselor/public educator certification a week ago, so starting in January I need to do 25 hours of public education about consent and healthy relationships and then I start my actual counselor duties. I want to do more things like that. I want to be involved.

I want to update my iPod because it's been almost two years, what the hell.

I want to write actual fanfic again. I want to do my chocobo down requirements for FFEX and get back into the exchange itself. I've learned a great deal about writing in the past few years, and I want to apply what I've learned in a way that's separate from RP.

I want to use my DW more!

I want to survive this week. Two finals down, two to go and I am ridiculously stressed to the point of just wanting the world to fuck off -- basically, if you're not Kay or Yuul or Val or my mother, don't even talk to me, I will become the Jesociraptor and eat your face off no matter how much I like you the other fifty-one weeks out of the year.

And, most of all, I want to make this list into a reality.

I have some thinking to do and some decisions to make.

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Ho, ho... ho. :D

Sun, 01 Dec 2013 21:48:50 GMT

oh look, i have one of those newfangled DW things.

Happy December, month of the winter holiday of your choice, cats and kittens. I am sending out cards again! If you would like one, fill out the following form in the textbox and drop it into a handy screened comment. Or, if you're not comfortable with that, you can PM me or ask for my e-mail address. No matter where you are on this great blue sphere of ours, if you desire a card, I will send you one! ♥ (Note that your cards may come with SURPRISES, hence the last question.)

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Also disproportionate amount of staring at my DW points here...

Fri, 02 Aug 2013 19:06:25 GMT

I am in the process of redoing my resume/CV! It is harder than I anticipated, partly because trying to format on Word these days is an exercise in misery and partly because I am completely unimpressive. I'm not surprised I couldn't get a new job this summer. My job experience was essentially going from food service in a way that's only viable at that one business due to its unusual processes to a very narrow field of photo printing that barely exists anymore and staying there for four years.

(Want to hire me? I can switch a chemical filter and change a photopaper roll in a pitch black room in under 30 seconds! :D I'll revolutionise your company!)

Yeah, anyway, I've also been volunteering at a ED support and resource centre this summer so I can gain some experience in a reception position or managing a desk/office. I'm enjoying it for the most part; I'm also in a very weird place of not being able to tell whether I'm doing well or not. I need every reference I can get, for obvious reasons, but I tend to finish things long before my supervisor expects me to finish things. I know, this should seem like I'm being unequivocally awesome and I should brag or whatever, but mostly I fear it'll lead to things like "over-qualified" and "will get bored", which can doom a person as much as anything.

So there's that. What I wanted to say was, I need resume help! Lots and lots of it. Tell me about your resumes, people. Part of my duties at the ED centre includes verifying references, so I've seen resumes that not only put mine to shame, but contest my belief that a resume going over one page is a bad thing. Thoughts? Feel free to add expertise in making a history of retail work sound viable to a non-retail employer. Or -- anything, really.

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Frustration! And more frustration.

Wed, 17 Jul 2013 16:23:32 GMT

Things that should not be difficult but are: registering for school. This is, apparently, a week-long process of bureaucracy, e-mails, and requests.

On the plus side, I might be arranging my own independent study for a credit. Once I can figure out how.

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Things!

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 22:50:41 GMT

I think this, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call a quarter life crisis.

I'm at that age where friends, people I went to high school with, are getting married and having kids and starting careers. I feel stupidly behind, still slogging through school; and as much as I know that's ridiculous, my path is no less valid than anyone else's, it's still not awesome to feel like my life doesn't meet some imposed standard. My Facebook page is a mess of engagement announcements, ultra sounds, pictures of people with their kids -- and I'm most proud that I was finally able to get past the Citadel in ME1 without throwing my controller in map-inspired rage.

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"Oh, it's just a visual metaphor."

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:41:15 GMT

I'm sure I could have used actual words to describe my thoughts on E3 and the way Sony kicked Microsoft in the teeth, and how much I want to buy a ps4 to the point where I'm now googling "playstation 4 price drop" like the hobo I am.

I'm not going to. This does it for me.

You're welcome! :D

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Seeking: books, a wrestling brain, a life

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:04:39 GMT

Had a death in my immediate family which I've not wanted to talk about in great detail but I will say, now that I can say it and not feel horribly selfish about it, that anything having to do with my family is exhausting. It was a long bad long week, but it's over now.

Other than that, I've been playing lots of Harvest Moon and exploring volunteer opportunities because I couldn't get my old job back. I might be cleaning cat cages! :D

I also want to get started reading again. I fell out of the habit when I started school which sucks, because reading is awesome and it's like weight lifting for the brain, and I want my brain to be a champion brain wrestler!

Yes, exactly like that.

Recommend me some books, please.

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Friday is meaningless

Fri, 03 May 2013 14:21:00 GMT

I have entered into a strange, reclusive mood where I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to engage people on AIM and I'm doing my best to ignore plurk's existence (with thoughts of deleting my account dancing in my head -- again). The idea of calling up any of my RL friends to go see Iron Man is piles and piles of DNW, even though they haven't done anything to make me feel that way.

When I get like this, it's never a result of being angry at anyone or wanting to avoid a person in particular; I think I just burn out on talking, socializing, empathizing and listening. I am quite possibly the world's biggest introvert. This past week-and-a-bit has had me log into AIM once a day, pray to whatever unfortunate Discworld god might be listening that no one has messaged me, and log out again. (I am not saying that people aren't allowed to message me! On the whole, I prefer one on one conversation and if we talk on a regular basis, I probably like you a lot. But, this is how hard my desire to hide away from socializing and talking has spread -- I just want everyone to stop talking and leave me be, because my reserves are seriously depleted, I am running on empty, this introvert needs to run away screaming for a few weeks.

So the moral of this story is, "message me, but only when I want you to." Way to people, self. I swear soon I'll have recharged and be back to normal.)

I also am, quite possibly, getting the slowest to manifest cold in the history of everything. This after having my appendix (which had been inflamed for about a month, HA) forcibly removed from my body just a week ago.

The next few days -- well, the next few months, really -- are going to be full of entertaining family as they all herd in one at a time. Approaching things like this from an adult perspective is really odd for me, especially since some of the estrangement has started to reverse, but it's only in the last year or so that I've realized how exhausting it is.

I'm taking my aunt's younger brother to see Iron Man 3, which should be fun.

In fact, those who have seen it, give me your impressions! Spoiler-free, please.

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I join the Moogle U ranks

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:20:22 GMT

So I started playing FFIV again because seventhe told me to.

So far, my entire three or so hours of gameplay can be summed up with, AND THEN THEY ALL DIED.

A lot.

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Yaaaawn

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 01:49:02 GMT

Had a nice enough day at the zoo! Felt bad because I checked out for the last forty-five minutes or so because I could not handle the constant standing anymore, and the friend I was with worried I wasn't having fun. Never did it occur to me I could just say, "I'm in pain, I need to sit down," because I still think of this as pain vs. Jes, apparently.

Felt even worse when I came home and realized it's okay for people to break their word to me, as long as they don't tell me about it. (Once in a week is disheartening. Twice just makes me want to flip tables and start firing people from my organization. That I totally have.)

Whatever. I'm done caring, tomorrow will be a nice and relaxing day.

( Also, this, which is NSFW )

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But now I must play...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 16:45:01 GMT

Somehow, and I don't know how, I managed to write six papers in one month.

Papergate 2013 is over!

In honour of that, stick your video game recommendations in here! School is done in just over two weeks and I intend to play all the things! Starting with Mass Effect the first, finally and for real. (I was so disappointed today — I went to go grab my copy so I could play it, but I had already boxed it up in my pre-moving pre-packing packing, and it now sits in the basement of my grandparent's house, forty minutes away. I really intended to look past my intense hatred of the map this time and play!) I also want to replay Tales of Vesperia, which is something I've been saying I'll do since last... oh, September.

Aaaand I need to get my hands on Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations. Look for it here, an entry where I expunge a massive amount of ~~Lana Skye~~ ~~Miles Edgeworth~~ ACE ATTORNEY FEELINGS, probably in the form of a rainbow. At some point. In the future.

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Ranty McRant Rant

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:34:53 GMT

It's amazing how, when a lot of little things go wrong, it can really bring down my mood.

My laptop seems to have died for the time being. It refuses to boot up at all, and Google (which is usually my reliable go-to fix it for anything computer related) has been utterly useless. Fortunately, I had all but completely switched to using my desktop computer but whenever I go anywhere, I can't take that. This also means I can't use my printer, since I lost the install disc ages ago and for some reason, merely plugging in the USB to my desktop does nothing.

Both of my spring coats are completely ruined. I should have anticipated, since I got them both for only $20. Three of the buttons have fallen off one and both of them have destroyed pockets: I am pretty reliant on pockets and things kept falling through tiny holes, into the coat interior. I had to rip the tiny holes into huge fucking holes in order to fish things out. I have to sew them back up, which I hate doing.

About a week and a half ago now, I took a tumble down some stairs and ended up straining some ligaments in my ankle. For some reason, they're not healing as they should and I still feel pain every time I put my weight on my foot.

IT'S STILL COLD AND MOSTLY SNOWY. Ugh, why.

And I am so, so tired of my housemates. I have completely given up being considerate when they've done absolutely nothing to earn it.

On the plus side, I move out in less than a month. And I only have two papers left to write! Papergate is almost done, so that's. Something.

Yawn.

How are you, world?

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Thu, 14 Mar 2013 09:18:26 GMT

I had a dream that wasn't a nightmare but was still unnecessarily stressful, because my father was a key player in it and I was at an airport, getting ready to board a plane. Now it's five a.m. and I'm awake but I don't want to go back to sleep because what if the dream is still there, waiting and it feels like I haven't slept all week. Papergate isn't even halfway done, either. The icing on the cake is this massive headache I went to bed with last night that hasn't gone away.

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ｈｏｂｏ ｌｉｆｅ （ ｍａｓｔｅｒ ｒａｃｅ ）